Pearce Fahy

pearce fahy born asleep at 2.41am on 27th january 2006. pearce had an older sister anya who was 11 months old when he was born asleep.

i bled from 7 weeks pregnant to the day i had my child. that is 13 weeks of bleeding in total. i went to the hospital 2-3 times a week trying to get someone to test blood clots that i was passing but i was always told that bleeding is sometimes normal and that there is no explanation for it. finally at 19 weeks i was taken into hospital after i was getting contractions and spent a week in there. still noone would test the blood clots. i was constantly bleeding and being sick but was always told that it sometimes happens to some women. as pearce was my second child i fully believed them. the day leading upto pearce being born was a weird one. i was due to go for my anomoly scan in the morning, but because i had already had around 3 scans and knew the sex of my child they decided not to do it. this i feel was the first mistake. even though i was classed as an emergency patient as i was staying in hospital i was made to wait 3 hours for my anomly scan appointment. in this 3 hour wait i passed something that can only be described as looking like a peice of brain. i kept hold of this and when i went upto the ward gave it to the ward sister who said she would finally send it to the lab to be tested. i never found out what this was. at 2pm i was told by a midwife that because i was 22 weeks pregnant i shouldnt be on there ward and should be on a matenity/labour ward the other side of the building. this is the 2nd mistake as i was 20 weeks exactly. so at 3pm i was transfered to another ward where i was put in a room and not seen for 3 hours. at 7pm my sister and friend came to see me so i told her about the days events and she went and had a word with the midwife. the midwife told my sister that she was sorry i hadnt been seen and that in all honesty she hadnt been told i was being transfered or what for. she then said that unfortunatley there was only 2 midwifes to 20 women on the ward. my sister went at 8pm and i started to feel funny and getting pains again. at 9pm i new something was wrong and that i was in labour so called the midwife. she told me that i probably wasnt in labour and gave me a pethadine injection. i knew she was wrong and kept calling her in every 15-20 minutes but she kep saying i wasnt in labour. finally at 11.30 she believed me and transfered me to the labour floor. i was put into a room and a midwife came and saw me straight away. i asked her if i was in labour she said she wasnt sure so went to get a more qualified midwife who examined me and said yes i was. i asked was the baby going to die and she said most probably yes. i do not know if pearce was already asleep inside me or died coming out. the hospital rung my husband who took anya to my sisters and drove straight to the hospital getting there around 1.30. at 2.41 am on 27th january 2006 i had my son pearce. who was born perfect in every way. words can not explain how hard it is to have to say goodbye to your child before you get to say hello. my son was taken away for cleaning and pictures, hand and footprints. me and my husband sat in silence for nearly 4 hours. from 7am i started to ring my mum knowing that she would be up soon for work. i knew that this was going to be the hardest phone call i would ever make. when she answered i just burst into tears saying i have had the baby. she said great was he ok though. i just didnt know what to say and said he didnt make it. after a lot of tears i told my mum to still go work and try to finish early to come see me and her grandson. she was sent home at 11am as she was unable to work. all that day was filled with tears and my mum and sister coming to see pearce. we never let our daughter see him as she was only 11 months old and didnt know how this would effect her. the day passed slowly and i asked if i could stay another night. the hospital agreed and i was put into a place called the rainbow room which was a charity run room for parents who have lost a baby. i bearly slept. as morning came i wanted to see pearce and make sure it wasnt a dream, how i wished it was. i wanted to get out of the hospital a.s.a.p. i was discharged at 11.30 and went home to start arranging pearces funeral. at the time we had no spare money so had to to a set hospital funerel. on the 1st february the day before anyas birthday pearce was buried and so was a part of me and my husband. weeks passed slowly as i went back to work. a week back into work and the same thing happened to a girl i worked with and i couldnt cope so had to take more time off work. an appointment came through for a consultant to disscuss any concerns i had and to tell me the results of mine and pearces blood to try and expalin what happened. in short he told us that i could have been given tablets or stiched up to try and stop labour but the hospital would have decided against this (i was never told of these options while i was still pregnant). mine and pearces bloods came back normal. the consultant then went on to say that the moment i passed my first blood clot that it was only a matter of time before i would lose pearce. i was also never told this while pregnant. i write such an in depth description of my pregnancy to help other mothers who may have been in the same situation and in the hope that it may help. thank you for reading and leaving tributes and candles.

i end this with something my mum wrote in a sympathy card to me and my husband

"i am fully convinced that the soul is indestructable,
and that its activity will continue through eternity.
it is like the sun, which to our eyes seems to set at night,
but it has in reality only gone to diffuse its light elsewhere"

rest in peace my baby boy, although i never got to see your smile or hear you cry i know you are being cared for and looking down on your family. losing you has been the hardest thing in my life, i will never forget you and will never stop loving you.
mummy, daddy and anya x x x